Some brand new insights

So…we’re well on our way to February and I’m only just finishing reading the self-help books I was given for Christmas. I say ’self help book’, but this generation is more life philosophy treasure trove: beautifully illustrated, archly toned, nice to run your fingers over. The problem is they tell me absolutely nothing I don’t already know. Maybe it’s my advanced age, but I’ve known for some time now that you mustn’t sleep with married men (unless you really, really can’t help yourself and/or you are married to him yourself); you are allowed to say no, and to all manner of people about all manner of proposals, but especially work-related ones; and, also, anyone can cook if the tomatoes are nice and ripe and the olive oil of a sufficiently high grade.
Well, for anyone suffering similar guru fatigue, I now share three genuinely new insights:
1. All men between the ages of 35 and 45 choose pin numbers inspired by heavy metal songs.
2. ‘Maybe’ is an excellent alternative to yes or no.
3. Not cooking will free up so much more time for you to sleep with the married man of your choice.
I will share more nuggets throughout 2010, as and when they occur.